User blog:BackToTheFuturama86/Jason Voorhees vs Spider-Man
Sup, motherbitchholetitsticks? New battle. Todaise battle is a battle of Masked Men, featuring Friday the 13th ''antagonist Jason Voorhees against Marvel superhero Spider-Man, with a few others as well, making MY VERY FIRST ROYALE. Note: Most of the lines for V and the Phantom were written by Noah, so thank you very much <3 Here goes, biches! Cast EpicLLOYD as Jason Voorhees Toby Turner as Spider-Man George Watsky as V Alex Farnham as The Mask Zach Sherwin as the Lone Ranger Nice Peter as The Phantom of the Opera Mary Doodles as Mrs. Voorhees (cameo) Dante Cimadamore as Tonto (cameo) The Battle EPICRAPBATTLESOFHISTORY!!!!! JASON!!!!!! VS!!! SPIDER-MAAAN!!!! BEGIN!!! Jason Get ready, I'm about to lyrically smash you like your name's Freddy I've got tons of lyrics that slice sharper than my machete I Marvel at the fact that you even think you had a chance And that Morphsuit of yours? God, please put on a pair of pants! Friday the 13th, bitch. Mark it down in your calendar Your puny webs don't scare me, you're a neurotic, teenaged amateur I'll take you down, Deadpool, without the help of my momma While you swing around like you're Tarzan wearing Superman's pajamas You're not immortal like I am, I could kill you with a pistol I may have drowned in the Lake, but now my victory's clear as Crystal Spider-Man My Spidey-sense is telling me that I will win this battle Against this dramatic mama's boy who can't even doggy-paddle I entertain millions of children, and they all think I'm Amazing But ask anyone about you now, and they'll ask you "Who's Jason?" You sold out to Freddy Krueger, but your franchise's still in ruins You're not fit for killing people, why don't you try out for the Bruins? Your movie's a ''Halloween ripoff; it's like a porno, but more violent Why can't you just stay like you are in your movies --- silent! Go back and whine to your mommy; "Peter beat me, Mom, boo hoo!" and it looks like neither can you V The''' V'iolent 'V'agabond has arriV''ed to once again make history To ''Voraciously 'V'anquish 'V'ermin for thinking they can take my 'V'ictory So allow me to 'V'erify your 'V'iolation, a 'V'i'V'id 'V'ortex to your 'V'agrant whines You can't kill me -- behind the mask is an idea, and ideas are imperV''ious to rhymes I'm ruthless; I'll slaughter everyman who tries to stand in my way Spitting red-hot burns so often like it's Guy Fawkes Day You ''Vomit-inducing 'V'ultures, I'm about to 'V'iciously and 'V'isibly diss you A masked killer and an annoying nerd, both with 'V'ibrantly terrible parental issues Remember, remember, the fifth of November, even Parliament knows I'm the bomb, I'm far better I'll slice you all up into dust, for you are both but teens, and remember, 'V 'stands for 'V'endetta The Mask The Mask is here, so step aside, lock up your wives and daughters It's party time! P, A, R, T! Y? Because I gotta! Now I really must decide, should I heckle or attack? Well, you all had better Hyde, 'cause Jekyll isn't coming back My raps'll physically burn you Guys, they're literally SSSSSSMOKIN' You're all just hopeless wannabes, none of you will ever Get Loki I'll twist you up like balloon animals, cook you up like Jason's mommy Then stomp on little Anansi and blow up V the anarchist Commie I've got more brains in this Big Head of mine than all of you combined So Ip-kiss my ass, losers, you'll find that I'm the real mask-ermind Lone Ranger Hi-yo Silver! The original vigilante is here to save the day! The real Texas Ranger, here to Walk all over my new prey Jason, you made a dozen movies, and not a singe one was adequate And Spidey, your powers are like your birth; they were a total accident V's movie is slower than molasses, while mine's rapid, fast-paced action And the Mask? You look like Salvador Dali took too much acid A Grown-Up Mutant Ninja, a terrorist, a bugman, and a zombie All walk into town and get destroyed by this badass ''Kemo sabe 3,000 radio episodes, and to the world I am no stranger You'll find yourself asking "Who was that masked man?" Well I'm the Lone Ranger The Phantom Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha! Now you all will be dealt with as I see proper There's no escaping this time --- you're trapped inside my opera! I'm the Red Death, the Angel of Music, the Don Juan Triumphant It's the Point of No Return, your flaws are abundant, beating you is redundant Jason, Why So Silent? There's only one spot for a masked phantom madman And Parker, your powers are bland, I'd rather be rapping against Batman The Mask, your rhymes suck more than your name, I'll slice you into sushi Should I call you V for Vagina? Because you're as fucked-up as your movie I'll pull the mask off the old Zorro ripoff, you should know that you are screwed You will curse the day that you did not do all that the Phantom asked of you. Boo! WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! ERBOBTTF!!!! Poll Who won? Jason Voorhees Spider-Man V The Mask The Lone Ranger The Phantom of the Opera ERBoBTTF Category:Blog posts